April’s features:
Rasputin’s Etiquette Quiz , for those awkward social situations.
This Month’s Letters to the Editor
Instead of Ask The Rickmaniac, Joy, this month’s contributing Rickmaniac, sent a photo quiz.
And finally, two quotes of the month, both from Claudia, and the link of the month.

The Rickmanista Review
The Monthly Rickmanista: The January Issue The February Issue The March Issue
The Rickmaniac Cookbook

Would you like to contribute to next month’s Rickmanista Review? Do you have a question to Ask The Rickmaniac? Would you like to be next month’s Consulting Rickmaniac? Any film reviews or new recipes to send? Would you like to e-mail me? Please do at emma-mail@mailexcite.com

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Rasputin’s Etiquette Quiz

1. When meeting your new employer, you should:
a) Introduce yourself without delay.
b) Loudly call her “Maamma!”, kiss her hand.
c) Patiently wait to be introduced.

Dinner at the boss’ home
You are invited to dinner at the boss’s home. The children are present.
2. After the usual niceties, you are all seated at the dinner table. You should:
a) Refrain from any behavior that might be considered untoward.
b) Amuse the younger children by telling knock-knock jokes, such as,

Annie: Knock-knock
Dwight: Who’s there?
Annie: Annie
Dwight: Annie Who?
Annie: Anniebody home?

3. Dinner is now being served. You should:
a) Wait for the servants to place the food on your plate.
b) Ignore the servants and go for the spuds.
c) Ask for the salt, please

4. The correct way to eat a potato at a formal table is:
a) Cut bite-size piece of potato, add small amount of butter if provided, chew carefully.
b) Mash up the potato with your fork, ask for sour cream and chives if none on the table.
c) Ignore the utensils, pop potato whole into mouth.

Dating
You are the new bachelor about town. You now are at home, entertaining an attractive member of the opposite sex, who just (unexpectedly) happened to drop by.
5. You should:
a) Comb you hair, make sure there’s nothing stuck between your teeth, check your trousers, look awkward, be hospitable.
b) Appear unconcerned and order her to repent, but insist that first you must sin.
c) Change into your best outfit, then join her in the living room.

6. The evening’s not really a success, and she wants to leave. You decide to:
a) Go for broke and throw yourself at her feet.
b) Offer to call a cab.
c) Drive her home.

On the town The party of the season’s taking place at the hot nightspot in town. You are invited.
7. What to wear:
a) White smoking jacket, black tie, black trousers, evening footwear, all by Armani.
b) Dark suit, dress shirt and necktie, all by Zegna, Gucci socks and shoes
c) Red tunic, black trousers, high boots.

8. You had a little too much to drink. You should
a) Excuse yourself, leave early.
b) Ask for some hot coffee, stay put at your table, try to be unobtrusive.
c) Join the live entertainment (exotic folk dancers) at the dance floor, pass out when exhausted.

9. Other guests are offended by your behavior. They ask you to leave.
a) You decide to pull rank and quietly remind them you are well connected.
b) You really get angry, and show them you are a great man by exposing your most prized asset. *(see footnote)
c) Inebriated as you are, you realize they are right, apologize, and leave.

You are invited for drinks at the home of a man that normally did not seem very friendly towards you. You decide to let bygones be bygones and accept his invitation. When you get there you realize there are no other guests.
10. You should
a) Eat all the food in sight, drink all the wine, ask for more. Refuse to leave even when the host turns hostile.
b) Apologize for any inconvenience, accept one drink but leave early.
c) You get irate and make a scene. Insist that they get you a cab.

*Footnote: While reading the March 14th, 1998 Economist, in its Review of Books and Multimedia section, I found a review for the book Rasputin, The Saint Who Sinned, by Brian Moynahan. The review reads,

Having smashed-up a smart Moscow night-club, Rasputin was challenged to prove that he was who he said he was. In response, “He unbuttoned his trousers and waved his penis at the waiters and onlookers.”

The first letter refers to a mistake I made on the March Quiz. Suzanne (who sent that lovely photo of Mr. Rickman’s hands you see separating each section on this page) and Nele both noticed.

Dear Emma,
I got one wrong on the March quiz, BUT I believe I actually got it right. Could it be you actually gave the wrong answer for question 11? Didn't Jane Austen write the actual novel? The March Quiz has E. Thompson (who wrote the screenplay, of course) as the answer.
You are right, of course. I just can't type to save my life. By way of apology, here’s a nice photo of the good Colonel.

Dear Emma,
I took the January quiz "Are You a Rickmaniac?" Not because I wasn't sure (for I have no doubt), but just for the fun of it. Are you sure it only takes 41 points to be a Rickmaniac? Because.... ummmm... I'm afraid my score went WAY over the "Rickter" scale. I ended up with... (aham)... 648 points (on the conservative side). Am I obsessed? Signed, Concerned But Chuffed

Dear Concerned,
You are an example and an inspiration to the rest of us! It only takes 41 points to be a Rickmaniac because of Mr. Rickman’s obvious appeal; Rickmanianism takes no effort at all. However, some of us lost count of how may times we’ve listened to The Return Of The Native, and would probably want Mr. Rickman to call us “Eustacia” when in a good mood (his and our good mood -- timing is everything!). A dedicated Rickmaniac is a person of great intelligence and resourcefulness, since some of the stuff is so difficult to obtain (has anyone seen a video of LLD?). Thank you for your letter!

Instead of a question-and-answer section, Joy, our Contributing Rickmaniac for April, sent a photo quiz.

THE EYES HAVE IT!
Yes, we’ve all gone soft and gooey over Col. Brandon gazing lovingly at Marianne, and felt chills race down our spines from every steely glance in Die Hard. If you have been truly, madly, and deeply paying attention to the scene, this test of true Rickmanianism should be a breeze! Can you match the sneers, the glares, and the gazes with the films?
Clue: The photos are from AABA, CL, DH, MC, Rasputin, RHPOT, S&S. Answers in May’s Monthly Rickmanista.

“He has a voice that could melt a Mars bar”
“He could say “up your bum” and make it sound like Shakespeare”

For this month’s link, since Mr. Rickman’s working in the film Dogma, see Kevin Smith’s site. For the uninitiated, please note you might need translation for some of the terminology.

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